- Welcome Message and select excerpts of our first year blog
- Our New Blog
- Contact us
- Travel Advice
- Guidelines for travel agents
- Flying-all you need to know before you book your next plane ticket>
- Cruising-planning the perfect cruise>
- Car Travel
- Traveling by bus...in style
- Hotels-Creating the ideal autistic friendly hotel room>
- Packing -101>
- Ask away -Autistic Globetrotting Free advice service>
- Tid bits-travel advice from our readers in 100 words or less
- Autistic Travels' Golden Rules
- Guidelines for travel agents
- Autisticals-a personal view of autistic travel
- US 10 best in
- The 10 best of Boston
- The best 10 of Hilton Head,South Carolina
- The 10 best of New York
- The 10 best of Alaska
- The 10 best of Texas-San Antonio and Galveston
- The 10 best of Santa Fe and the surroundings
- The 10 best of Arizone-Grand Canyon
- The 10 best of Colonial Williamsburg,Jamestown and surroundinds
- The 10 best of Washington D.C.
- The 10 best of Las Vegas
- The 10 best of Boston
- International 10 best
- Mini autisticals- the darnest travel stories you'll hear
- The Sleeps-our biased and un biased hotel reviews
- The Eats-Tasty challenges from around the globe
- The Shops-what you can buy next
- Collector's Corner-How did these travel trinkets become a collection
- Recommended products
- Giveaways
- Monthly news roundup
- Interviews
- Q&A with Jackie Longino founder of Aspietravel
- Q&A with Tal managing director of ALUTEVA-autistic hotel in Israel
- Eva Bronstein-Greenwald-special needs travel agent and founder of We Belong
- Q&A with Trip it's
- Q&A with David Intercontinental Tel Aviv
- Keri Bowers- film producer of 'Normal people scare me'
- Jamie Grover-Autism on the seas
- Peter Shears
- Clive-guide dog extraordinaire
- John Brown of 'Devyn and Dad' -an inspirational adventure across the United States
- Rose Niehaus Olsen Morris inventor of the safety sleeper bed
- Annette White,counselor for Camp Autism
- Colin Brennan-Canada's new singing sensation
- Dennis Debbaudt-autism safety expert
- Gisela Sedlmayer- author of 'Talon'
- Q&A with Jackie Longino founder of Aspietravel
- Inspirational travel stories by our guest writers
- Danette Schott's-Revisiting family vacations
- Brian R. King-Meltdown at the airport
- Joy's visit to the Aquarium
- Denise Klipsic-An incredible encounter with Princess Tiana
- Tanya Savko- Hope on a river
- Tiffany Robison-Great Wolf Lodge
- Fiona Westner Ramsay -Making-room-for-autism-in-your-canoe
- Laura Shumacher-Traveling with autism: a true story
- Phyllis Fanzo Lombardi-s -Vacation Time with Joey
- Kristina Chew-18 Miles On the Bikes At the Beach
- Jeff Katz-Chicago
- Margaret Ann Franklin's visit to the Great Northern Carousel in Helena Montana
- Claire Sarcone-Chessington the aspie way
- Elaine Hall-Tips for summer vacation
- Steve LHeureux -Autism "Outings" need to be planned and appropriate
- Kelly Green-The Gardens of Gilroy
- Wolfie Blue-Tips I learnt by traveling with my family
- Gluten free Disney cruise experience
- Danette Schott's-Revisiting family vacations
- North,Central and South America-pictures,videos and AG's tips
- Arizona,The Grand Canyon
- Alaska Cruise-USA and Canada
- Florida,Orlando-Universal Studios-looking for Harry Potter
- Florida,Orlando-Macy's mini parade in Universal Studios
- Florida-Everglades Park ,Miami,Key West
- Hawaii's big island with a glimpse of Pearl Harbor
- Louisiana,New Orleans-French Quarter,Christmas Parade,Nanchez Steamboat
- Louisiana,New Orleans-in the footsteps of Katrina,Garden district
- Massachussetts-Boston ,New England Coastal towns of NH and Maine
- New York-NYC
- New Mexico-Santa Fe and Bandoliers National Park
- Pennsylvania-Philadelphia
- Texas-San Antonio and Galveston
- Canada-Niagara Falls,Montreal,Quebec,Toronto
- Caribbean-Bahamas- the Atlantis resort
- Caribbean-Castaway Cay-Disney's bahamian paradise
- Caribbean-Roatan,Honduras>
- Caribbean-Grand Caymans-Hell,Turtles,Wild Hens and Stingrays>
- Mexico-Cabo San Lucas(Mex Riviera)
- Mexico-Puerta Vallarta (Mex Riviera)
- Mexico-Acapulco and Manzanillo
- Mexico-Mazatlan(Mex Riviera)
- Mexico-Playa del Carmen's Xcaret eco park>
- Mexico-Tulum and XelHa Eco Park
- Yucatan,Mexico- Chichen Itza,Cozumel's Paradise Beach
- Arizona,The Grand Canyon
- Europe,Asia,Australia and New Zealand,Cruise ships-pictures,videos and AG's tips
- Australia-Sydney and Melbourne
- Austria-Salzburg
- Belgium-Antwerp ,Brussels
- Canary Islands-Lazarote
- Croatia-the walled town of Dubrovnik
- Denmark-Copenhagen
- France-Normandy's D day beaches>
- France- Cannes,Nice,Eze
- France-Paris
- Finland,Helsinki
- Germany-Munich,Dachau
- Germany-Romantic Road
- Ireland-Dublin
- Ireland -Cork,Blarney,Kinsale>
- N. Ireland-Belfast>
- N. Ireland's Giant Causeway
- N.Ireland-Carrick -a -Rede-rope bridge>
- Italy-Venice,Pompeii,Rome
- Italy-Florence,Messina and Taoramina
- Israel-Jerusalem>
- Israel-Masada and the Dead Sea>
- Israel-Tel Aviv>
- Morocco-Casablanca
- New Zealand-Rotarua
- New Zealand-Fjord Park,Dunedin,Christchurch
- New Zealand - Auckland and sheep farm
- The Netherlands-Amsterdam,Delft,The Hague,Rotterdam,Madurodam
- Sweden-Stockholm and the Archipelago
- Russia-St Petersburg's Palaces
- Scotland-Royal Yacht Britannia in Edinburgh
- Scotland-Edinburgh>
- Scotland-Inverness>
- Scotland-Loch Lommond,Luss,Sottish sheep show>
- Spain-Barcelona
- Spain-Cadiz and Seville
- Spain-The Alhambra Palace,view of Malaga
- Tasmania-Hobart
- UK-Liverpool and the Beatles>
- UK-London>
- UK-Stonehenge,Bath,Warwick Castle,Stratford on Avon,Oxford
- UK-Guernsey>
- Carnival -Legend
- Aboard the Carnival Legend
- Carnival -Ecstasy
- Carnival- Fascination
- Carnival Spirit
- Celebrity-Century
- Crown Princess>
- Sapphire Princess
- Royal Caribbean-Brilliance of the Seas
- Royal Caribbean-Mariner of the Seas (parades)
- Royal Caribbean- Mariner of the Seas
- Australia-Sydney and Melbourne
- Monthly guest's -Travel videos and pictures
- Web sites and blogs we follow
- Face Book discussions
- Guest Book
Phyllis Fanzo Lombardi -Vacation Time with Joey
![Picture](/uploads/4/4/4/8/4448415/7304034.jpg)
We were going on vacation. That’s not unusual. Most families go at least once a year. We’re going on vacation, what’s the big deal?
Well, with us it is. My beautiful boy has autism, and being on vacation doesn’t mean you’re on vacation from autism. Not only the usual roadblocks stand in your way, like waiting, costs, and safety. But we are entering the “normal” world, leaving our safe cocoon. And who knows what will happen?
A few vacations ago,boy,did we ever find out what could happen.
It was only three years ago that we left for JFK airport. We’d flown before. Joey was fine, we knew the routine, and brought lots of toys for the plane, treats and books. A little extra clodine to calm him. And off we went.
That year, we got to the airport excited as ever. Nicholas, my typical boy, 12 at the time, was so thrilled he could barely handle it. We were going to Bush Gardens, in Tampa Florida.
We also had front-row tickets for a Yankees spring training game. We don’t go to the stadium often, and unfortunately most times we do, we can’t bring Joey. If he loses patience, it’s hard to leave when the seats cost so much. And to do that to my typical boy is not fair. But spring training would be perfect. We’d be right up close, which would give Joey a lot to look at. It’s more informal than a “real” game, and would cost less.
Our plans were made. We were going to the game and Busch Gardens—acting like a normal family.
They called our flight and Joey seemed fine.We showed our tickets and headed down the tunnel-walkway to the plane. All of a sudden, right at the plane doorway, Joey stopped. No no no, he said. We were shocked. Joey has three words and doesn’t use them often. Loudly, he said, no no no! He would not get on the plane. We tried to coax him with chips and soda. The captain even came out to offer his hat in bribery, but Joey would not budge. When we tried to push him and physically manipulate him to get him in the plane, my beautiful boy wet himself and started screaming. At that point we realized we couldn’t do this to him. We left the airport without going to Florida.
You could have heard our hearts beating in that car on the way home. We couldn’t speak. My son Nicholas was heartbroken, sad, and angry. My husband, the fixer, couldn’t fix this. And me, the mom, who was supposed to have all the answers, had nothing. In my head, all I could hear was, You have to make this work. Or else you will lose vacations to autism, too, and more important, so will Joey.
I got to work with our school district, and with their help and Joey’s home therapist, we tackled a new mission: to get Joey on a plane. And that we did. Everything from going to Westchester Airport (left) at least once a week to see and hear planes, to coloring planes, writing about planes, watching planes on the TV and computer, wearing headsets that made plane noises. Anything that could have to do with planes was done.
That was three years ago.
Just last month, we went to Florida again. Yes, on a plane. And as tears streamed down my face, I called Joey’s school class from our seats and told them, “We’re on the plane.” The yells and screams from that classroom were overwhelming. They acted as if I’d just told them they had won a million dollars.
Thank goodness for these people who worked so hard to help my boy. And Joey–he amazes me. He grows and learns and fights to be part of our world. And works so hard at it, while always staying happy. He can’t complain to anyone about his day or his shirt being too tight. He is silent. And I try so hard to understand him and know what he needs without him saying a word. But I know that I don’t always get it right. My heart is beyond breaking when I think of the loneliness he must endure, the silence.
But not last week. Last week, Joey fought the demon of autism and traveled with us. We went to the beach, we swam, and we were together.
In fact, he’s becoming a pro. He’s even mastered coming back to our lounge chair each and every time after leaving the swimming pool. That has always been a bit of an adventurous moment, because Joey used to think all the towels, seats, and food near the pool were his to take. This time, he came to us—every time. It was nothing short of miraculous. My back actually hit the lounge chair. I relaxed and bathed in glory of success. It was magic.
This vacation, we were somewhat, yes, “normal.” Joey even taught the bartender how to say ‘soda’ in sign language, and had him serving him soda on cue. How great is that? Next year, I might just have Joey teach him Mai Tai, for me.
I never thought it possible to achieve this quality of life. It was sheer bliss. And as we sit in the house on a cold New York afternoon, home from school because of yet another snow day, Joey and I look out the window. He turns to me and signs “plane.” Yes, Joey, I’d like to go on a plane too, I smiled, and thanks to your bravery and hard work, with God’s love we will go again someday together. And in a small way, leave autism behind.
Phyllis Lombardi is an advocate, small business owner, chairperson of the Ardsley Schools PTA special needs committee, and a board member of the Hudson Valley Advisory Family Council
* First published in Women's voices for change on March 9,2011.
Well, with us it is. My beautiful boy has autism, and being on vacation doesn’t mean you’re on vacation from autism. Not only the usual roadblocks stand in your way, like waiting, costs, and safety. But we are entering the “normal” world, leaving our safe cocoon. And who knows what will happen?
A few vacations ago,boy,did we ever find out what could happen.
It was only three years ago that we left for JFK airport. We’d flown before. Joey was fine, we knew the routine, and brought lots of toys for the plane, treats and books. A little extra clodine to calm him. And off we went.
That year, we got to the airport excited as ever. Nicholas, my typical boy, 12 at the time, was so thrilled he could barely handle it. We were going to Bush Gardens, in Tampa Florida.
We also had front-row tickets for a Yankees spring training game. We don’t go to the stadium often, and unfortunately most times we do, we can’t bring Joey. If he loses patience, it’s hard to leave when the seats cost so much. And to do that to my typical boy is not fair. But spring training would be perfect. We’d be right up close, which would give Joey a lot to look at. It’s more informal than a “real” game, and would cost less.
Our plans were made. We were going to the game and Busch Gardens—acting like a normal family.
They called our flight and Joey seemed fine.We showed our tickets and headed down the tunnel-walkway to the plane. All of a sudden, right at the plane doorway, Joey stopped. No no no, he said. We were shocked. Joey has three words and doesn’t use them often. Loudly, he said, no no no! He would not get on the plane. We tried to coax him with chips and soda. The captain even came out to offer his hat in bribery, but Joey would not budge. When we tried to push him and physically manipulate him to get him in the plane, my beautiful boy wet himself and started screaming. At that point we realized we couldn’t do this to him. We left the airport without going to Florida.
You could have heard our hearts beating in that car on the way home. We couldn’t speak. My son Nicholas was heartbroken, sad, and angry. My husband, the fixer, couldn’t fix this. And me, the mom, who was supposed to have all the answers, had nothing. In my head, all I could hear was, You have to make this work. Or else you will lose vacations to autism, too, and more important, so will Joey.
I got to work with our school district, and with their help and Joey’s home therapist, we tackled a new mission: to get Joey on a plane. And that we did. Everything from going to Westchester Airport (left) at least once a week to see and hear planes, to coloring planes, writing about planes, watching planes on the TV and computer, wearing headsets that made plane noises. Anything that could have to do with planes was done.
That was three years ago.
Just last month, we went to Florida again. Yes, on a plane. And as tears streamed down my face, I called Joey’s school class from our seats and told them, “We’re on the plane.” The yells and screams from that classroom were overwhelming. They acted as if I’d just told them they had won a million dollars.
Thank goodness for these people who worked so hard to help my boy. And Joey–he amazes me. He grows and learns and fights to be part of our world. And works so hard at it, while always staying happy. He can’t complain to anyone about his day or his shirt being too tight. He is silent. And I try so hard to understand him and know what he needs without him saying a word. But I know that I don’t always get it right. My heart is beyond breaking when I think of the loneliness he must endure, the silence.
But not last week. Last week, Joey fought the demon of autism and traveled with us. We went to the beach, we swam, and we were together.
In fact, he’s becoming a pro. He’s even mastered coming back to our lounge chair each and every time after leaving the swimming pool. That has always been a bit of an adventurous moment, because Joey used to think all the towels, seats, and food near the pool were his to take. This time, he came to us—every time. It was nothing short of miraculous. My back actually hit the lounge chair. I relaxed and bathed in glory of success. It was magic.
This vacation, we were somewhat, yes, “normal.” Joey even taught the bartender how to say ‘soda’ in sign language, and had him serving him soda on cue. How great is that? Next year, I might just have Joey teach him Mai Tai, for me.
I never thought it possible to achieve this quality of life. It was sheer bliss. And as we sit in the house on a cold New York afternoon, home from school because of yet another snow day, Joey and I look out the window. He turns to me and signs “plane.” Yes, Joey, I’d like to go on a plane too, I smiled, and thanks to your bravery and hard work, with God’s love we will go again someday together. And in a small way, leave autism behind.
Phyllis Lombardi is an advocate, small business owner, chairperson of the Ardsley Schools PTA special needs committee, and a board member of the Hudson Valley Advisory Family Council
* First published in Women's voices for change on March 9,2011.